Day 30 of 30

Holy moly. 30 days ago I started an experiment… Having gained 50 lbs, my body felt unfamiliar to the point where I’d been hiding big time. As I set out to create my new year’s resolutions, a voice told me I couldn’t reach any of those without SEEING, ACKNOWLEDGING & even - oh my god media forbid - LOVING my body, just as it is, first…

Day 29 of 30

It also feels like the experiment has slowed time a bit - they say when you try new things, your brain is focused on collecting unfamiliar information and in hindsight that *feels* like time went slower! Cool. I love weird brain stuff…

Day 28 of 30

TWO DAYS LEFT! Whoa. I’ve been sharing a real photo, showing my real body, for 28 days now… all with the intention of challenging myself - no expectations of outcomes, just a hope that this would create space and levity for a happier, healthier, more fun, more free new year…

Day 27 of 30

Once exposed, a secret loses all its power… These are the words I didn’t know came to me on New Year’s Eve. I’ve told many of you how I heard a voice as I laid my head down around 1:30 am on New Year’s Eve… but I’ve never described the message the same way twice & I’ve never been able to put my finger on the exact words I heard. Until now…

Day 26 of 30

Things I’ve found since beginning this experiment… The mirror is a place to brush my teeth, to twist my long locks up into my Brooke-bun, to add makeup, or to wash it away. It’s for making sure I like the look of my shirt with my shorts… it’s for peace & even smiling…

Day 25 of 30

Tonight I rode a mechanical bull for the first time in my 31 years on this planet. Not sure what the hype was about… but, glad I did it anyway. We saw a comedy show tonight and I was reminded that I love very few things more than I love laughing! I’m currently battling to keep my eyes open and I have my fingers crossed I didn’t say anything weird above, or misspell things to the extent that I’m horribly embarrassed in a few hours when the new day starts…

Day 24 of 30

The cherry on top of the day was playing in virtual reality - we fought zombies (I died and screamed quite a bit, they’re scary and using a gun is difficult) and I traveled all over the world via Google Earth. My favorite was seeing / being amongst the Milky Way…

Day 23 of 30

My sister posted a beautifulllll photo of herself today where she said she originally thought “my legs look too muscular” (we all have weird body stories we tell ourselves)… I am so proud of her and so grateful her beauty (mind, body, soul) is active and in the world…

Day 22 of 30

Tears came partly because I adore and treasure these moments more than I can express with words... and partly because I’m mourning all the moments missed, images tossed away and joy lost from the times I couldn’t see beyond my body shame. It makes me physically ill to think of all that’s lost, but crazy, wildly, gleefully excited for all that’s to come now that I’m releasing the shame…

Day 21 of 30

Honestly, I’m thinking less and less about my body each day - which seems strange as I’m SEEING it so much more with this experiment. You are all continuing to amaze and humble me with your messages of vulnerability… I have NEVER felt alone in this journey thanks to each of you and to Wilhelm…

Day 20 of 30

A photo of my real body every day for 30 days... Today, I’m in one of my fav outfits & I’m showing you my great squishy belly that’s beneath my lovely grey sweater! I’m joining the @i_weigh movement - making a list of the things that add up to make me ME... what I literally weigh is only one of one million things that factor in…

Day 19 of 30

I was being creative with my photography at the beginning of this experiment but I’ve gotten busy & a bit tired so I’ve been slacking & just bringing you perfectly legit, pro photos and it makes me feel a little bad but not enough to change it. Just tellin’ the truth…

Day 18 of 30

I weigh 50+ lbs more than I did when I married my sweetheart 5 years ago… I’ve spent too much time letting the weight hold me back. So, my January experiment is to show up every day for 30 days & share a real photo of my real body! I have no expectations, I’m just here to see what happens…

Day 17 of 30

Today is the first time I’ve invited someone to take the photos of me (alone)… the process was simple with Wilhelm behind the lens, it was quick, easy & I felt great! 🌴 Today Wilhelm walked me through some mindset stuff… I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I am in awe of & grateful for a partner who learns, grows and holds me accountable. Dang this guy is wise when I let him talk…

Day 16 of 30

I’m OBSESSED with my husband right now - I think it’s a combo of how much this experiment has reminded me we’re a TEAM + we were apart for 4 nights and I honestly crave snuggling up next to him after that. He’s been super affectionate, little loving strokes across my hand, little squeezes, he even pulled me to him in his sleep and softly kissed my forearm - I nearly died…

Day 15 of 30

“I just worry - everything you put on the internet stays there forever” was the question, my response was, and is, “if I’m going to put ANYTHING on the internet forever, I’m really glad this is it”
🐿 When I get pushback (rare) about this experiment, here are the 3 specific comments that come to mind and keep me motivated…

Day 14 of 30

I’m super grateful that when I showed my mom the first set of photos (after posting) she took a deep breath and said, “this is amazing, I think this is a really big deal”…

Day 13 of 30

Promising myself, and all of you, that I’d share these real photos of my real body once a day for 30 days was a big commitment. Yes, sharing my body was difficult (it’s getting easier very quickly), but equally trying for me is the idea of doing ANYTHING for 30 days consistently. I fail at consistency often, so I rarely promise it, because failing feels gross. So, thanks for your patience when I post at midnight, or 3am... for me, this is showing up, this is consistency, and I’m actually really proud of myself…

Day 12 of 30

I experience overwhelm and discomfort when people share how much this project means to them, impacts them or inspires them - I find it difficult to accept and receive their gratitude. Yet, I really love that I’m able to help others SIMPLY by being me and by following my intuition, I want to do that EVERY SINGLE DAY. It feels effortless and powerful…

Day 11 of 30

🦖 Today was amazing
🦖 I had really good (and I mean GREAT, easy, wise and fun) conversations from dusk til dawn (actually until 3am)
🦖 I’m with brilliant women and we talked body, biz, sex, mindset and so. much. more.
🦖 Tomorrow Wilhelm and I are offering a new 1-1 couples coaching program to 3 clients and I’m super excited because this is the work that fills and overflows from my soul